Sunday, March 31, 2013

Bringing The The Holidays Up A Notch Will Be The End Of Our Nation.

By now we have all read this amazing rant from Rage Against the Minivan about bringing the holidays down a notch. I completely agree.  In my house, we too, celebrated St. Paddy's Day by wearing green and eating corned beef.

Oh, how far we've come. The achievement-oriented children of the 80s are now moms and we're all CRAZY and making ourselves crazier turning every single holiday into a technicolor event so we can instagram the $hit out of the technicolor and post our homemaking prowess on Facebook and Pinterest.

Barf.

Or so I thought.

I vowed to keep Easter simple. Maybe he'd get a basket with a box of Kix inside since those are his new packaged-good obsession.

The aftermath isn't too bad, but the setup
was cuter before he got his little hands on it!
Last night I realized I may have taken it a tad too far. In his cute froggy basket, which I HAD to buy because he started ribbiting at it in the store, were a dozen plastic eggs filled with Kix and crackers, one Reese's egg, bubble stuff, and an Elmo shirt because everytime he sees Elmo he says, "Momo" and it's just about the cutest thing ever. Next to his basket was a set of plastic golf clubs. You can't start them too early when they're destined for the PGA.

We did not have a scheduled egg hunt because of my mis-scheduling but next week I am hosting a Spring Treasure Hunt the bounty of which is eggs filled with, you guessed it, Kix. 

I asked myself numerous times last night why I did this when a single chocolate bunny would have sufficed. This year, especially, he'll never know the difference and still I couldn't stop myself from accumulating more Easter treats because I thought of the smile on his face and the peals of laughter he'd shriek when he saw a pint-sized Elmo shirt.

Now, I didn't take it too far. There are no chocolate fountains or barnyard animals in my living room, but I can see how that happens:

My Mom Train of Thought: "He just loves chicks. Thanks to their awesome data-mining, Target knows what I want before I do and just so happens to be selling a coop of chickens this Easter season that are strangely a perfect fit for my car and the playroom AND I have a Red Card. Throw it in the cart!"

It's hard to take it down a notch because we adore seeing our children full of joy, but the ends will not have justified the means. A century from now, when China is the dominating world power psychologists will write books called "Generation Deluded," that will track the fall of our nation back to the babies we birthed and  Pinterested through childhood. Moms, we DO NOT want this to be our legacy!

The frosting cocoon we are crafting for them (and creating a KICK ASS Pinterest board about) will be a detriment when 2035 rolls around and they enter the workforce. Their first day on the job, they will be searching for their Email Echidna to get through their inbox, their Meeting Moose to facilitate their meetings, their Polka Dot Panda Presenter to present to the Leadership Team, and their Office Orangutan to manage the politics and get them promoted.

Before Cupid starts shooting safe, yet well-aimed, candy-laden arrows every February 14th and Punxsutawney Phil spends February 2nd delivering summer treats to every child in the land, let's stop.

The productivity of our nation depends on us.

6 comments:

  1. Totally agree here. There are huge differences between nz and the states about holidays are celebrated but its starting to creep in. Do what makes you happy I say !

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    1. Exactly! And the line separating happy and crazy is razor thin!

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  2. LOL, I MIGHT be the only parent who totally didn't do an Easter basket (though I second guessed myself this morning about that). It's hard not to do the consumerism.

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    1. No, you didn't. He could have cared less about the damn Elmo shirt.

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  3. It's definitely a fine line. What I do for holidays is all about making the kid smile and not about how it will look on social media (for the MOST part), but I agree that it gets more and more out of control each year.

    I didn't do anything for tay for Valentine's day (besides get her a cute shirt). But Easter - she got some stuff for Easter.

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  4. Oh, gosh I can relate and I'm (gasp) still not even on FB or Pinterest! I'm sick of the "stuff" already but felt so guilty for no Easter basket that I went out and got a last minute assortment of bath toys and bubbles. End the madness people!

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