It's 2012. Why Isn't There A Sippy Cup That Works?

Dear All Sippy Cup Makers In The Known Universe,

Cancel all pending consumer research.  I am going to tell you what Moms want because I am tired of the shenanigans.

We want one vessel from which a child can successfully sip water without creating his or her own personal splash park.  Given the products on the extremely crowded market, I am confident that's not what your research said.

Your study told you Moms want choice and, wow, you took that to heart.  Nervous breakdown and I were as close as we've ever been in front of the sippy cup wall.  Give me one option in one color that my son can drink beer from in college.

Your study lost its loose grip on reality when it ranked cup aesthetics a higher priority than cup utility.

Dr. Brown's, I loved your graceful lines and neutral colors.  I hoped to have you in the family for years, but you stopped dispensing fluid .  Since babies can't talk and were he precocious enough to he would have been too weak from dehydration to utter a word, it was tricky figuring this out.

Sippy Cup Carnage:
 Leaking Out Its Insides.

Once discovered, I left the good Doctor and tried Nuby.  

For a few hours I was pleased as punch because the removable straw let my son hydrate himself.  Then, he started batting the cup.  The dog ran in fear of his life and I ran after it.  Cup carnage is what I found.

Sweet Potatoes, Chicken,
Green Beans
& Spilled Water.
Yummy Fall Soup.

Most recently, when it leaked all over the high chair tray, the cup caused the Sweet Potato Soup incident.  My little boy thought it was awesome.  I did not.

For days, I blamed myself for not being agile, strong, or smart enough to screw the lid on correctly, but then I remembered something I learned in marketing school, at a little place I won't name but is ranked in the top 10 for Marketing, and everything changed.  The customer is always right.  

(God I love our entitled society!  J/K.  Hate, hate, HATE it unless we're talking sippy cups.)

As your entitled customer, I am requesting a vessel to hold water and let it out when summoned.  That's all.  It doesn't have to be ergonomic or green or run a four minute mile.  It just has to work.

Also, you have to figure this out by next week when my little boy starts drinking milk.  I'll be waiting patiently for your call.

Thank you very much.

Sincerely,
annie