How To Attract Buyers to a Garage Sale.

We are selling all of our furniture in anticipation of the renovation and since I used to be a pretty decent marketer by day and am getting just a tad bit bored with this stay at home gig, I went and got all creative on my craigslist post.  I'd come to my sale...wouldn't you?

Ad Copy:

Black Friday was more like Grayish-White Friday compared to our Kick-Ass Construction Sale.  Do yourself a holiday favor and come buy our awesome furniture, household décor, fixtures, and granite.  You don’t have to get up at 3am, but you do have to come ready for sweet deals.  We have furniture your next door neighbor will covet that has to go before the bulldozer gets here on Monday. 

Like the dog?  He’s got a price. My husband?  Let me think about it.

Sweet Stuff of Ours You Want to Buy:

Ethan Allen Red Leather Couch - $700.  If you ask Santa for this and he delivers, the stupid elves will ruin it trying to cram it down the chimney.  If you want it, better treat yourself.

Thomasville dining table with 4 Ethan Allen Chairs - $1100.  Well now, aren’t you all Currier & Ives.  Put a turkey on this thing and call it Christmas! 

French Countryside Style Chair - $85.  Hop on the bandwagon and get yourself a French countryside chair of your very own.

Ethan Allen Black Media Console - $500.  Yeah, yeah, yeah, who uses a media console anymore?  YOU DO!  This is a great place to store your video game collection and hide it in a dignified manner.  You’re such an adult now.

Wrought Iron Wall Sconces - $150.  For the pair!  This is the steal of the century.  TWO gorgeous wall sconces that double as weapons.  Amazeballs!

Washer & Dryer - $350.  Ho hum, but you gotta wash your clothes.

Kitchen Granite - $10/square foot.  Will be removed but must be carted away the first week in December.  Who do you think we are?  Home Depot?

Sweet Vintage Barbie print - $40.  Get it for your girlfriend.  It has a certificate of authenticity.  She’ll think you spent mad dollars on it.  You’ll get lucky. You’re welcome.

Day at the Races print - $40.  Mint juleps and stupid bets not included.

Z Gallerie Tan and Brown Sahara Rug - $40.  Rrrawr!  You’re an animal.

Half Round Wooden Side Table - $225.  Class it up, Dallas.

AND MORE!!  Including a stainless steel gas grill, Z Gallerie filing cabinets, lamps, side tables, Z Gallerie decorative vases, and assorted bric-a-brac.  Get over to this sale before our inventory is gone because sales this good only come around once in a lifetime.

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In Dallas?  Want my stuff?  Let me know!