The journey will be long and arduous and if not for the interstate move we just completed, I would feel a strong desire to bring all my worldly possessions with me to the airport, don a black hat, and bring enough water for a three month voyage by sea.
"Stop doing this to yourself, Annie!" I hear you yelling through virtual space and time. I will ladies, I will but this time the little man's baptism calls and soul-saving is an endeavor worthy of facing Delta's ridiculousness and air-travel with a nine month-old head on.
There is a 30% chance the Pilgrims had a more difficult time aboard The Mayflower, but unlike the Pilgrims, I have been to this rodeo before and am masterfully prepared for any and all obstacles the friendly skies shoot my way.
This time, I will be traveling without toys. In the past, I crammed 25 pounds of pure toy in my carry-on. Lamaze the dog never made the little boy stop crying, but Air Mall worked every single time. Is it germy and a little bit gross when he eats it? You bet! Will it give him scurvy? Nope.
This time, I am bringing about a pound of puffs and yogurt melts. Is it poor mom performance to give your child food everytime he cries? Sure is. Will you care when he is crawling up you in the 1x1 barrack Delta has leased you for the three hour tour? Not at all.
This time the diaper bag is staying home. My work backpack is much roomier, has a special compartment for my laptop, and has eight straps from which to hang a sippy cup or just gnaw on when all else fails. Could either he or I be chewing them when we've run out of food but still have miles to go? Yep.
This time I am bringing a parachute. If the captain says the plane is being diverted, we're out.