Were I a fashion blogger, I would take artsy self-portraits wearing free clothing from companies that love me. I'm going to give it a try.
This is me in my FREE ESPN hoody. At my old job, we sometimes got free stuff from media companies. I was important enough to get this hot hoody.
ESPN isn't my only sponsor. This is me in my FREE, custom Dr. Pepper tee. DP gave us a "I'm A [fill in the blank]" tshirt with our chosen phrase to support their new campaign.
Mine arrived during my first week as Household CEO. The hyperbolic fashion is the best way to rock this look. Tie it up ala 1988, pair it with an inappropriately short jean skirt, remove your shoes, and grab a broom and a baby. Now wait for your husband to get home. You will both laugh. And maybe cry.
Despite owning such awesome free gear I cannot claim to be a fashion blogger. To meet the genre's requirements, my readers would have to be so impressed by my hot style that they immediately buy a heather gray ESPN hoody and a custom Dr. Pepper tee.
Will you make my sponsors happy and buy these looks?
Yep, I'm no fashion blogger.