Monday, February 2, 2015

Choosing A Little Boy's Style.

Dear Me Of Three Years Ago,

A few months before the first baby was born, you asked your husband a serious question: "What do you think his style should be?"

Maybe you were overcompensating for your tutu-less future, but let me state clearly: YOU KNEW NOTHING.

At the time, your husband laughed and suggested you focus on keeping the baby alive before stressing about his look. Sage advice, and although you agreed, you did not ever want to be the mom whose little boy was decked out in licensed clothing and broaching the style topic was meant to gain alignment against this hideous toddler fashion choice. You judged the moms when you saw kiddos sporting too much Disney. "Yech," you'd think to yourself, "how do they let their child outside in that?"

Three years from today you will find yourself trying to convince a three-year-old to go to swim class. He is wearing Mickey Mouse swim shorts, a Hulk shirt, Spider-Man socks, Avenger sneakers and caps the ensemble off with a Superman hoodie towel hanging from his little head.

This child is yours.

Yes, Spring 2015 is the season of superhero style. You own every single superhero shirt Old Navy sells. You own sneakers, socks, undies, and outerwear. You own bathrobes, slippers, PJs, blankets, and bedding. You own cups, plates, and utensils and none of this happened by accident. I'd love to tell you that I don't know where all this licensed paraphernalia came from, but that would be an egregious and traceable lie, as I bought it all!

Here's what you don't yet know: little boys have a general disdain for wearing clothes and a boundless passion for superheroes.

I see your eye twitching and hear you calmly explaining that your little boy will always get dressed easily and not care about superheroes since you don't know the first thing about them and are relatively certain your husband doesn't either.

I'll squash that belief. Every boy loves superheroes, some just don't tell their wives until their is a littler boy around to share in the fun.

Your future house is a sea of licensed artifacts because they are the only leverage you have in the game that is about to become your life. They will protect you from battles around getting dressed, eating, and going to sleep. Yes, these sound like basic tasks in which every human easily engages, but just you wait!

So you see that little boy over there in the Superman shirt and LIGHT-UP (Egads!) Bat-Man shoes? His mom is simply happy he is not running through the mall clad only in Spider-Man undies.

Good luck and spend some of that glorious quiet infant time reading up on Captain America!

Yours Truly,
Annie of 2015

6 comments:

  1. Hahaha! SOOOO true. Stella was wearing a Cinderella dress when I left for work this morning. #SMH

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    1. Too funny! There is usually a shirtless wonder running around in a cape when I leave!

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  2. Could not be more true. I am up to my ears in princess shit. Which I said I would never be. HA! But the good news is that one little threat of said princess shit being taken away and my little turns back into a sweet obedient child. Thank you Disney.

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    1. True. Disney is helping with potty training.

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  3. Truer words may not have been ever typed. My only difference is that we intended our child to like superheroes because we, ourselves, are geeks...as are all of our friends. What I did not intend was that he would be obsesses with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Thomas the Tank (of which he has only seen a few episodes but he loves trains).

    It doesn't stop here with clothes. I am looking on my desk and right now there is one of the bowls that we got just for him with Spiderman on it. We also have ones with Ninja Turtles and Mickey, I think. We have underwear for him that is Mickey and Thomas. He has Jake and the Neverland Pirates bedding, and he sleeps with TWO Winnie the Pooh bears.

    So why indulge them? Sanity. I once had a friend say "parents don't care about justice, they care about quiet" and I have come to realize that as parents, we will do a lot of things we said we never would for the sake of sanity. :D

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    1. So true! Sanity will make you sacrifice anything.

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