Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Let's All Agree To Stop The Absurd First Day Of School Pics.

The first day of school is several years away and I'm confident I won't live up to the expectations.

I am sure my son will be dressed in a clean, cute outfit. Ok, that's a lie. He's a boy. It will be cute but it may have some dirt or maple syrup on it.

I am also sure I will take a picture. Using my phone. The badass camera we bought in preparation for parenthood sees little play time. The vision of us as a camera-toting couple, using magical settings that make childhood look like a wispy cloud-filled fairy tale, hasn't quite come to fruition.

I'm fairly confident he won't be holding a sign with the date and his grade. Now, in theory, this is a good idea, but then again, so is Communism. I don't want to embarrass my son during the wedding slideshow when his first day of kindergarten pic pops up and the date is written in black Sharpie on the back of an open gas bill envelope.

I thought I'd found my out.

In late August my facebook feed filled with photos of children holding pinterested-out handmade signs declaring the first day of school. My initial horror receded into a dull annoyance only when I realized it was my Southern friends crafting Chevron striped, faux French Provinicial chalkboards and hiring talented baristas for the delicate scroll. If this is a Southern thing, I will gladly play my Northern card and pass on the antebellum ritual.

My horror returned today when moms in Upstate NY joined the shenanigans.

Ladies, let's stop the madness. I understand the pride in the first day of school but we are glamourizing an event that will happen 13 times and, quite honestly, looks like a pain in the ass. School supplies, early mornings, clean outfits, nourishing breakfasts, and the four years leading up to it that were filled with flying puzzle pieces and crushed Kix do not deserve a plaque.

Yes, I know your old friend from work quit her job and started a photography business and is now posting somewhat annoying photos 2-5 times a day with her logo on the bottom and making you feel incredibly inadequate with your camera roll, but what no one is telling her is that the sunswept, filtered, professional sign filled photos are dorky. Friends think it when they're posted and in 13 years your child is going to wonder why all her childhood events had props.

So, let's start a new trend. Change is hard, but it oftentimes begins with a small group of passionate people. I think we are it and I think we are needed.

Screw the sign and pin some mimosa recipes. Mix a giant batch. Bring this giant batch to the first day of school and take photos of you and your friends toasting yourselves for reaching the day with minimal puzzle-shaped scars marring your bodies. Shun anyone with a sign. In fact, make a sign that says, "If your child has a sign, you cannot have a drink."

By the time our first day of school is upon us, the mimosa trend will be all the rage and I will know who to thank. In fact, thank you in advance for your social activism. It's people like us who can truly change the world.

7 comments:

  1. I can't lie. I kind of love it, too.

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  2. Hahahahaha! I love this post, but I'm afraid I'm so afraid I'll be that picture taking sign making dork too. Maybe not. My kid is still young. She hasn't beaten me down yet...

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  3. This is bloody hilarious and so so so true!

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  4. Love this!!!! We had our first ever professional photos done last week while in Canada but it was because we wanted photos with the whole family (even in-laws were over from England) so it was great for that but I told her, "NO PROPS!" I am not a fan of babies in little lobster suits with signs in front of them that read, "Catch of the day!" But to each there own I suppose. Our photos turned out beautifully and we are so glad we did them... but yeah, the first day of school stuff.. calm down people. Although who knows, that may be me in 4 years! ;)

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  5. Every time I see those photos I feel a little part of me die. I am not creative. I don't have a lot of time. Did I get up, get the child up, get us to daycare/school on time? Are we fed and did we survive the day? Kudos all around! Stop making me feel guilty for not finding the time to do things on Pinterest. Granted, I don't USE Pinterest but so many of my friends do and...GAH!

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