Sunday, July 21, 2013

34 & Pregnant.

During high school, college, my early 20s, my late 20s, and well into the first year of my third decade, I knew getting pregnant was a first class ticket to ruin. "16 & Pregnant" may not yet have been a glimmer in MTV's prescient eye, but I knew young motherhood didn't lead to a house on a hill overlooking the ocean.

Realistically, "ruin" was too strong a term to use for pregnancy after I graduated from college, joined the working world, and wed. I owned a home, a car, a dog, a husband, a graduate degree, and a nice little corporate marketing job and still believed  pregnancy would have the same dire effects as it would were I 18.

When I promptly changed my mind, it took the universe almost a year to get the memo about my change in position. My dusty uterus, shut down by management for 15 or so years, quickly let me know that taking direction was not her strong suit and brought my son into the world on her own timetable.

Fairly certain that with a second child, the old dustbag will give me the same run-around, her timetable is being taken into consideration.

Well, isn't the universe a bitch.

Several weeks ago, I walked into the breakroom at my new office where the product we sell covered every square inch of counter space.

"Oh my God!" I exclaimed loudly to fellow employees I don't know, "it smells awful in here!"

No one agreed.

A few days later, walking through the grocery store I was struck by a hunger I hadn't felt in over two years. My grumbling stomach fell to the floor as I headed to the pregnancy test aisle.

Perhaps it is because she is a bit of a control freak who still has something to prove or perhaps it's her way of apologizing for the past shenanigans; either way, she has proven once again she is in charge.

In less than 10 minutes, not the YEAR I'd planned for, I got pregnant.

The past 11 weeks have been a discomfiting mixture of nausea and shock. Don't get me wrong; I am thrilled there will be no second round against my uterus, but I hear her laughing and wryly reminding me to adjust to her calendar and erase mine.

In the meantime, I am drafting a pitch for the next hit MTV show, "34 & Pregnant." This unique, true-life series will star moms on the brink of "mature" maternal age who don't understand the consequences of unprotected sex.

22 comments:

  1. LMAO, this is pretty much how I felt when we got pregnant the first month trying - like, WTH, this was supposed to take years? I didn't want to be pregnant THIS summer. How did this happen?!!

    Um, yeah.

    At any rate, CONGRATS you sneaky sneak you. What is your EDD?? Going through this together again!

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    1. I know! I almost told you over email, but I've been too exhausted/ill to do much more than the bare minimum.

      No Bud Light Lime this summer, huh?. 2/11 is the date so we'll have one thanksgiving baby and one valentine's day baby. What's your?

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  2. Congrats! I had an easier time of it the second time around, too, but not THAT easy. I hope all goes well.

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    1. Thank you! I'm excited/terrified in a good way.

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  3. Wow congrats!!! Hope all goes well.

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  4. Oh my Lord, you make the 3rd of my friends who got pregnant around the same time! Which is hilarious to me, because when I got pregnant with Cole I was in the middle of a pack of 9 girls I knew. :)

    I am so happy for you! You're going to HAVE to keep us updated on all the things. I can't believe you held off telling us!!!

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    1. I felt weird not writing about it, but I've been so tired and feeling so sick that when I have a moment not taken by a toddler, I've crashed on the couch. Writing this took about 30 minutes longer than it should have!

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  5. Wonderful news! I am glad you didn't have to wait for the dusty gal to get with the program. Congrats!
    MissConception

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    1. Thanks, lady! Hope you guys are doing well!

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  6. Awesome, wonderful, spectacular news!

    #2 came a lot easier for us too. As in...whoops, there's a baby coming. And now he's expected to be here in 7 weeks. EEK! :)

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    1. 7 weeks!?! EEEK is right! I am so nervous ab a second, but hundreds of generations before us have managed. I'm sure we will too!

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  7. Congratulations!

    I just missed the boat on my own episode of "34 & Pregnant" - my second girl was born this May just after I turned 35.

    Hoping nausea hasn't been too bad for you! Here's to another 29 happy, healthy weeks. :)

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  8. Yay!!! I had a very surprising 2nd baby too after WAY more effort the first go round. He was discovered when I was planning on having way too much wine the next day and thought I'd better just be on the safe side and take a test.

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  9. Congratulations! I can't wait to read about navigating a pregnancy with a toddler in tow. It's something I consider as I watch my monster crawl around and it will be interested to see how it works out for you. Love your blog, as always!

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  10. how did I miss this!! Congratulations :)

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